The Wrong Side of the Bed?

The Wrong Side of the Bed?
As it turns out, I tend to wake up on the wrong side of the bed most days. I can’t seem to place whether or not it has something to do with the my 3 wonderful and overwhelmingly loud boys who always seem to be awake and at full speed well before any rooster can be heard; or if it just has to do with the fact that I don’t suppose I mind waking up on the wrong side of the bed. In fact, at times I welcome the gloomy cloud as it always seems to give me the best excuse to not speak to anyone; which in all honesty is sometimes ok with me. Don’t get me wrong, I have long been a supporter of companionship; but let’s face it sometimes a moment to yourself is just what the doctor ordered.
If any of you are anything like me, a day swirling of grumpy and careless fast food drive-through attendants, grumpy and increasingly geriatric local postal service assistants, grumpy and painfully pushy super market shoppers, and of course the average grumpy and carelessly distracted motorist, you may need a moment of silence to reflect on the events that Pissed You Off!! As a father of three growing boys, patience was something I have to display All the time. The question here is when do I get to be grumpy for a minute. Everyone else gets that second to be grumpy and it always seems to be when they are helping me? Is it me?
So to all… Remember, it is ok and arguably healthy to be grumpy on occasion. Furthermore, I recommend it. For me it always inspires a stronger sense of reflection as to what things are actually making me so grumpy after which I usually realize the oversensitivity in my ways. The larger challenge lye within the balance between not affecting the happiness that may be going on despite my grumpiness and having the grumpy moment I may deserve. I did this poem after a recent grumpy day. It was not created directed at one individual as it may seem; it is simply a collaboration of interesting words that I related to being upset. I enjoyed the way the words fit with each other.
I present my ode to grumpy days everywhere:

The Making of Hate
By: Jason Byrd
04\08

Oh I sit here thinking
Of all the things you’ve done
Your lies, dishonesty, and hate
And that thing that you’ve become

You told me once that you loved me
That you’d never do me wrong
And when I realize your lies
I’ve seen them all along

Sick and twisted melodies
Are swirling in my brain
And when my pain returns to you
You’ll never be the same

If once or twice you’ve thought of me
In your disconnected mind
Just realize my thoughts of you
Have since become unkind

When in fact the dust has cleared
And you see what’s in your path
Your lies, dishonesty and hate
Are things you can’t ever take back

© 2008 Jason Byrd – All rights reserved

Proud Daddy

Proud Daddy
I am truly the luckiest father in the entire world. I have the most intelligent and loving little boy ever. I do not find it easy to put in to words how I feel about that little boy. I am truly blessed to have a son who does everything to make me happy. At 4 he was learning to read, play the guitar, drums and piano and he draws some of the most interesting abstract pictures ever.
I remember when he was about 9 months old I was driving him to the sitter before work. It was about 5:45a so we were both very tired. I decided to put on some relaxing music to inspire him to go to sleep during the 1 hour drive. I played the only cd in my truck, the second disc in Ben Harper’s Live from Mars 2 disc set. If anyone is familiar with this particular cd you will note that this is the disc containing mostly acoustic songs. I always play that disc in random mode because it has been the only cd in my truck since I bought it. The second song that played was called,”Like a King/I Rise” and to my surprise he began singing the song like he wrote it. He knew all of the words, inflections in the melody, everything. The funny thing was that at the time he pronounced the sound of an “L” as if it were a “Y”. I almost cried when I heard from a tiny voice coming from behind me softly singing, “Yike a King”. Geez I love him so much.
I could go on forever about my little man, but at the risk of making you all sick I will not. Today I missed him too much to handle. Weekend at mom’s house can be a hard time for me so I just took out my favorite photo of him and I was overwhelmed with emotion and words that were beating in my head. I grabbed my notebook and began to write this little poem for him.
Gavyn,
Daddy loves you and can not wait for you to come back home. I am so proud of you I cry every time I think of you, all you can do, and all you have to accomplish in your future.

Angel
By: Jason Byrd

When I look into your eyes
I see myself in you
But most of all I see you conquer
The things I could not do

My heart is filled with so much pride
Each time I watch you play
And hear those bright insightful things
You always seem to say

The warm smiles that you give to me
Can set my heart at ease
And the pedestal that you hold me on
Has brought me to my knees

All the visions that I had of you
Were more than I expected
And as long as air is in my lungs
You will always be protected

© 2008 Jason Byrd – All rights reserved

Muse

Muse

I have often thought of myself as a self reliant individual who had taken his life into his own hands. For years I depended only upon myself in times of need. From a very young age I was taught that dependence upon another may lead me into a future uncertain. I was reminded daily of the festering wounds that are left when a loved one has cleaved the trust out of your heart.
It was not until recently that I realized the error in my ways. About two years ago I stumbled upon the muse that my soul had long been calling for. Since that time I have learned so many valuable lessons. I have since come to the conclusion that it is far more difficult to rely on the goodness of others than to rely on the determination of one’s self. During many times of reflection I realized that during my so called self reliance, I had lost out on so many essential occurrences. I had spent so much time loving myself that I had never experienced the feeling of love, dependence, trust, and faith.
Since that time my life has taken some unexpected turns. Despite the fact that the individual of yesterday would have never allowed these turns to detour me from the road ahead; I have never felt more at home on this road and focused on the ultimate destination at the end of the road.
To my muse,
You have taught me more about life and love than any single person or event in my life. You have found a way to open the door to most sacred places and allowed me the freedom to express freely all of my own creativity. You have taught me that allowing myself to truly love another has enabled me to truly love myself.

She
By: Jason Byrd
05/08

She’s standing so lonely and free
Living vicariously
Through the hopes and the dreams
That someday she’ll finally be
All she never thought that I’d need

Time will answer her cries
Or prove the deception of lies
When will the torture subside
From a heart that once was denied
Despite the ways it thought it tried

Take time to open your ears
Allow me to wipe up you tears
Let me silence your questions and fears
With your love my heart has been seared
And my future is finally clear

© 2008 Jason Byrd – All rights reserved

Irreverent Existence

Irreverent Existence
By: Jason Byrd
06/10/08

Walk with less irreverence
Talk with less distain
If you knew you had me
You’d hurt me once again

If you’ve read my memoir
If you’ve heard the cries
Then why the soothing Poison
That’s hollowed out my eyes

Words are loud when written
They sneak between the ears
When rearranged correctly
They amplify our fears

Try to paint my picture
The colors swirl about
You painted yourself in here
So bleed your own way out

Meter with no rhythm
A poem without a rhyme
A beat that’s always thumping
While never keeping time

Mounds of wilted flowers
A rose without a thorn
My head was hanging proudly
That day when I was born

© 2008 Jason Byrd – All rights reserved