The Wrong Side of the Bed?

The Wrong Side of the Bed?
As it turns out, I tend to wake up on the wrong side of the bed most days. I can’t seem to place whether or not it has something to do with the my 3 wonderful and overwhelmingly loud boys who always seem to be awake and at full speed well before any rooster can be heard; or if it just has to do with the fact that I don’t suppose I mind waking up on the wrong side of the bed. In fact, at times I welcome the gloomy cloud as it always seems to give me the best excuse to not speak to anyone; which in all honesty is sometimes ok with me. Don’t get me wrong, I have long been a supporter of companionship; but let’s face it sometimes a moment to yourself is just what the doctor ordered.
If any of you are anything like me, a day swirling of grumpy and careless fast food drive-through attendants, grumpy and increasingly geriatric local postal service assistants, grumpy and painfully pushy super market shoppers, and of course the average grumpy and carelessly distracted motorist, you may need a moment of silence to reflect on the events that Pissed You Off!! As a father of three growing boys, patience was something I have to display All the time. The question here is when do I get to be grumpy for a minute. Everyone else gets that second to be grumpy and it always seems to be when they are helping me? Is it me?
So to all… Remember, it is ok and arguably healthy to be grumpy on occasion. Furthermore, I recommend it. For me it always inspires a stronger sense of reflection as to what things are actually making me so grumpy after which I usually realize the oversensitivity in my ways. The larger challenge lye within the balance between not affecting the happiness that may be going on despite my grumpiness and having the grumpy moment I may deserve. I did this poem after a recent grumpy day. It was not created directed at one individual as it may seem; it is simply a collaboration of interesting words that I related to being upset. I enjoyed the way the words fit with each other.
I present my ode to grumpy days everywhere:

The Making of Hate
By: Jason Byrd
04\08

Oh I sit here thinking
Of all the things you’ve done
Your lies, dishonesty, and hate
And that thing that you’ve become

You told me once that you loved me
That you’d never do me wrong
And when I realize your lies
I’ve seen them all along

Sick and twisted melodies
Are swirling in my brain
And when my pain returns to you
You’ll never be the same

If once or twice you’ve thought of me
In your disconnected mind
Just realize my thoughts of you
Have since become unkind

When in fact the dust has cleared
And you see what’s in your path
Your lies, dishonesty and hate
Are things you can’t ever take back

© 2008 Jason Byrd – All rights reserved

Muse

Muse

I have often thought of myself as a self reliant individual who had taken his life into his own hands. For years I depended only upon myself in times of need. From a very young age I was taught that dependence upon another may lead me into a future uncertain. I was reminded daily of the festering wounds that are left when a loved one has cleaved the trust out of your heart.
It was not until recently that I realized the error in my ways. About two years ago I stumbled upon the muse that my soul had long been calling for. Since that time I have learned so many valuable lessons. I have since come to the conclusion that it is far more difficult to rely on the goodness of others than to rely on the determination of one’s self. During many times of reflection I realized that during my so called self reliance, I had lost out on so many essential occurrences. I had spent so much time loving myself that I had never experienced the feeling of love, dependence, trust, and faith.
Since that time my life has taken some unexpected turns. Despite the fact that the individual of yesterday would have never allowed these turns to detour me from the road ahead; I have never felt more at home on this road and focused on the ultimate destination at the end of the road.
To my muse,
You have taught me more about life and love than any single person or event in my life. You have found a way to open the door to most sacred places and allowed me the freedom to express freely all of my own creativity. You have taught me that allowing myself to truly love another has enabled me to truly love myself.

She
By: Jason Byrd
05/08

She’s standing so lonely and free
Living vicariously
Through the hopes and the dreams
That someday she’ll finally be
All she never thought that I’d need

Time will answer her cries
Or prove the deception of lies
When will the torture subside
From a heart that once was denied
Despite the ways it thought it tried

Take time to open your ears
Allow me to wipe up you tears
Let me silence your questions and fears
With your love my heart has been seared
And my future is finally clear

© 2008 Jason Byrd – All rights reserved

Irreverent Existence

Irreverent Existence
By: Jason Byrd
06/10/08

Walk with less irreverence
Talk with less distain
If you knew you had me
You’d hurt me once again

If you’ve read my memoir
If you’ve heard the cries
Then why the soothing Poison
That’s hollowed out my eyes

Words are loud when written
They sneak between the ears
When rearranged correctly
They amplify our fears

Try to paint my picture
The colors swirl about
You painted yourself in here
So bleed your own way out

Meter with no rhythm
A poem without a rhyme
A beat that’s always thumping
While never keeping time

Mounds of wilted flowers
A rose without a thorn
My head was hanging proudly
That day when I was born

© 2008 Jason Byrd – All rights reserved